Well, this is shaping up to be quite a week!

Doing National Novel Writing Month for the 5th time is a bit nutty...

Filming a short Expressionist film in a day is even more crazy...

Especially when I have play rehearsals just about every day of the week...

And on top of that I'm illustrating Stuart's next story...

And trying to market "In the Year 2600"...

And getting ready to move to a new apartment with Kristen...

But no, that's not crazy enough for me. Yesterday, I just HAD to go and buy a plane ticket to Glasgow. I think this is the single most insanely romantic thing I have ever done in my entire life... wait, I take that back, this is the most insanely romantic thing I have ever seen happening in anyone's life including mine. Nope, it's not enough to just write a 350-page novel dealing with insane, deep true love. True love means crossing an ocean rather than settling for a convenient relationship (or no relationship). I would say that this is the kind of love that artists always seek to capture, but even the greatest masterpiece can't capture what it's like to love someone enough to travel to another continent for him!

[link]

O_O...

As I promised myself I would, I published "In the Year 2600" in October... even if it was the last seconds of October! Hahaha. There goes my Halloween.

I think I'm a bit too stunned to really know what to say about this, especially since I think I expressed more than enough emotion during the final steps of the creation process-- for example, crying on the last page, going without sleep for about a week, having a panic attack over technical difficulties and making about ten calls to the UK, etc. Ah yes, it's been quite the week. I now have no cell phone minutes left from multiple failed attempts to call Stuart.

Amazingly, only ONE person discouraged me from publishing "In the Year 2600" during this entire time. ONE. Out of all the people I talk to and consider friends and acquaintances, that's amazing. Coincidentally, Heidi is notoriously pessimistic and was discouraging me mostly because I was putting myself through so much sleep-deprivation and drinking liters of Vault soda just to stay alert and at the desired energy level. EVERYONE else who has heard my plan to pay to go to Scotland this way has congratulated me on the idea.

Of course that's because my family knows nothing of this. Whew. Good thing I have a pen name...

I came up with the pen name "Gryphon" during Pennsic this year. While walking around with a friend, I mentioned that I needed a pen name. Just when I said that, we were walking past a sign that said "Flaming Gryphon". We decided on the spot that Gryphon was a perfect pen name for me because it's weird and ambiguous. I wanted something as gender-neutral and random as possible.

I should write a better entry on this when I'm more awake.

It's been quite a weekend. A freak snow storm hit and the electricity went out a couple of times and a bunch of tree branches fell off.

Last night I saw Heidi and Toby for the first time in years, which was very interesting. Heidi fell asleep, but Toby and I bought a 24 pack of Vault and stayed up all night talking. We had so much catching up to do! It was amazing. Of course by the time it was morning we were so high we weren't even having a conversation any more, we were just bouncing off the walls. I jumped on the bed while listening to Cyndi Lauper. WTF? Anyways. I also talked to Stuart on the phone for the first time and the battery died and the reception was crappy. It was really cool though because he has such a sexy accent.

Then tonight Aileen and I did this spa... thing. And we dyed our hair. That was cool.

Over all, I'm just exhausted I guess. But the whole high school reunion thing and hearing Stuart's voice again was awesome!

What a weekend it's been! My trip to Scotland is officially set for January; it will be at least a week but two if I can afford it. I hope I'll be able to afford two weeks XD

As Kezia put it, Stuart is my Prince Charming and Scotland is a magical kingdom right now.

Well, only it isn't that permanent... but who says that happiness requires stability? No, it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I would not trade what I am getting in the next few months for anything in the world. A week or two of sheer joy and indescribably passion is worth far more to me than any lukewarm relationship of convenience. I see my friends getting engaged or moving in with guys who they never truly have fallen in love with and I say to myself that it must be a depressing situation to be tied to someone without feeling the kind of love that keeps you up at night thinking, the kind of love that makes you feel like you're flying and like nothing else in the world matters but your love, the pure euphoric love I feel right now.

What is our relationship? I don't know! Does it matter as long as we're happy? Does it matter as long as we're both getting what we have secretly desired for some time now? When I'm kissing Stuart on the beautiful Scottish landscape will ANYONE care if there's a word fo what we are or what we feel? Of course not! The fact that there are no real words make it more intangible and beautiful.

To have a crush love me back in any way is a new phenomenon, and to take a trip to Scotland is a celebration that matches the gradeur of the emotions it makes me feel.

The words that Stuart finds to comfort my uncertainties about my own emotions are beautiful. He is right when he says that I will have only the best in love and I will experience life to the fullest. Instead of fearing my eccentricities and strong emotions, he embraces them! Can there be a greater man on Earth?

I slept like 15 hours total over the period of about a week, so... I'm freaking tired. And I got sick. Big surprise.

But other than being sick, everything is going smoothly. Every day that I work more on my writing or illustrating, I am thankful all over again for having a new muse who really cares about me. It means the world to have a muse be interested in my emotions instead of calling it stupid drama.

My rl friends are starting to get in on the action too, which is a bit unexpected. I need to start being more open with people...

I hope by the end of the day I can send the rest of the rough draft to Stuart. As soon as he's done with that and I look over the illustrations with a few people I'm done.